When we think of divorce, we often picture young children shuttling between homes, school counselors stepping in, and parents navigating custody agreements. What we don’t picture as readily is the impact on adult children when their parents divorce later in life—a phenomenon often called “gray divorce.”

In Clearly Clinical’s new on-demand CE course, When Parents Split Late: Supporting Adult Children of Divorce, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Linda Hershman brings attention to this overlooked group: Adult Children of Divorce (ACODs). Through her clinical expertise and research, Hershman reveals that divorce can be especially disruptive for adults who may be blindsided by the end of an apparently stable marriage.

Ambiguous Loss and Hidden Grief

Hershman draws from the concept of ambiguous loss, first described by Dr. Pauline Boss, to explain why ACODs’ grief is often invisible. Unlike young children, adult children rarely receive counseling or formal support when their parents split. Yet they may experience deep disorientation, mistrust, and guilt—particularly when told their parents “stayed together for the kids.”

Boundaries, Loyalty Binds, and Oversharing

The course explores how parental oversharing and triangulation can create emotional landmines. Hershman stresses the importance of setting boundaries, reminding parents to “love your children more than you hate your ex.” She also highlights the therapist’s role in helping adult children manage loyalty binds, role reversals, and strained sibling relationships.

Socioeconomic Ripples

Beyond the emotional impact, gray divorce often has lasting practical consequences for ACODs. From broken promises about financial support, to the sudden loss of grandparent childcare, to decisions about who will care for aging parents, adult children frequently face responsibilities they never anticipated. These ripple effects can reshape family rituals, living arrangements, and even sibling dynamics.

Clinical Takeaways

This course equips clinicians with language to validate ACOD grief, strategies to coach healthy boundaries, and frameworks for addressing trust injuries and socioeconomic strain. Hershman emphasizes that many ACODs enter therapy for other presenting concerns—such as relationship difficulties or anxiety—without realizing how much their parents’ divorce continues to shape their lives.

Why This Course Matters

Later-life divorce is on the rise, with women initiating roughly two-thirds of gray divorces. For therapists, this means more clients will be walking into the therapy room carrying the invisible weight of being an ACOD. Hershman’s course ensures clinicians are ready to recognize, validate, and treat this under-acknowledged form of loss.

Listen to Episode 251: When Parents Split Late: Supporting Adult Children of Divorce
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Keywords: adult children of divorce ACOD gray divorce later-life divorce ambiguous loss hidden grief family therapy marriage and family therapy therapist continuing education clinical strategies for therapists boundary setting in families loyalty binds triangulation in families oversharing parents trust injuries caregiver stress socioeconomic impact of divorce sandwich generation family rituals and divorce supporting ACODs