A Self-Serving, Vulnerable Interview Topic

WARNING: This post contains references to sexual violence.

“Sometimes, when my partner touches me, even innocently, I have flashbacks… I just shut down.”

I, like too many, am the survivor of sexual assault…. those words above are my own. The echoes of sexual violence have cast a long shadow across my relationships, particularly across my marriage… I know all too well how the wounds of past sexual traumas can unexpectedly resurface with startling ease, setting off disturbing memories, disconnection, and the distinct sense that there isn’t quite enough air in the room.

Survivors of sexual violence, alongside their partners, are doing the time for crimes they didn’t commit, in searing moments that settle in their souls and cross their mind at the most intimate of times, the times when they should be carefree and unencumbered.

You have seen these same struggles in your clients… you may have experienced them yourself.

So, when Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman said to me, “What shall we talk about in our interview?,” my response wasn’t entirely altruistic when I suggested that we talk about the impact of past sexual trauma on intimate relationships. It was a self-serving way to hear from one of the greatest psychologists of our day: What do we do about the impact of sexual assault on survivors and their intimate relationships? How do we work toward healing and hope? How do we help?

Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman

When I interviewed Dr. Gottman, I didn’t expect where the interview would go… I didn’t expect to have tears in my eyes within the first three minutes because of what this topic means to her, or to be at a loss for words as she told her stories and shared her perspectives.

It is with great honor that I share this free on-demand, podcast CE interview course with you: Healing Invisible Wounds: Working Through Past Sexual Trauma in Relationships, featuring Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. Dr. Gottman’s work and advocacy for sexual assault survivors has been instrumental in our field, and the wisdom, clarity, and gentleness she brings to this topic are like nothing I’ve witnessed before. If you don’t need CE credit, you can listen to the interview for free HERE.

I hope this interview impacts you as deeply as it has impacted me. Not only is my therapy work deeper because of hearing her wisdom, but my heart feels lighter, too. Thank you, Dr. Gottman… from the bottom of my heart.

Yours sincerely,
Elizabeth ‘Beth’ Irias